Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Epistle - 6.17.09

Good Wednesday Friends, Family, Associates, Aquaintances, and Curious Readers! It is a good wednesday in deed!

Today has been a nice relaxing day, We've spent most of the day playing various games. We played Rook and Eucre this morning in our kitchen, then went over to a recent convert's house to play Risk with him. He's a retired old man with no family so he likes spending time with us, and Risk on P-Day is an A-OK thing to do. So that has been a prety fun day!

In other news, the appartment I'm in right now is VERY nice. Missionaries take horrible care of appartments, and normally the appartments we're put in are pretty... cheap, to start with so they often aren't the most agreeable places to be. This appartment was redone, and the missionaries just moved in about 2.5 weeks ago. The appliances are nice, there is enough hot water for all of us to take showers, the showers aren't gross, the kitchen is clean, the carpets are nice, everything is very good!

On top of that I have a very good companion right now. He is very hard working. My last stint of companions I have been in positions where I'm there to help them, to minister to them and help them grow... this time if anything Elder Kelly is building me up. It's very humbling but I like it! So I'm very excited!

The area we're in is also really cool. There are lots of good people.

I suppose the most interesting thing that's going on right now is that I finally gave in and started praying earnestly for something that I've been afraid to pray for in the past... I've been praying for the Lord to humble me.

In the past I've prayed that he would give me humility so that I wouldn't have to be humbled, and other such things as that, but I've always held back a little, shied away a little from finally just saying, "Humble me, whatever you decide to do, do it but humble me so I can progress".

It has been interesting to see what is happening since then. Ever since I was set apart as a missionary I've found teaching pretty easy, I normally have a good idea what to say.. lately it has been different. I'll be sitting in a teaching appointment, or standing at a door, and listening to my companion teach, and there will be just nothing coming in to my head. It's so bad that I've pretty much given up and am just going to let him keep teaching, and then, almost like a light switch turned on there will be words coming out of my mouth before I know it. The transition is so sudden and startling, and has so little to do with any thought process within my mind that it leaves little room for doubt that the sudden burst of teaching comes from an outside source. This is nice because it allows me to be happy that something was taught powerfully and well through me, without becoming prideful in "my" ability to teach.

I'm striving to hold less and less back from the Lord. Of most of us he will not require us to give up everything we have, but he will require our willingness to give up everything we have. We must strive to within our own heart, soul, and mind consecrate everything we have to him, and rejoice in what he allows us to keep. As we do so, humility and a deep sense of our reliance upon Him who created all things comes as a natural consequence. This process starts with our inner thoughts. We change the way we think by choosing how we think. When we think a thought that goes against our new set course of thinking, we correct ourselves within our own heads, showing our integrity to no one but God and ourselves, and as we do this our thought patterns, behavior, and relationship with God will transform to a higher level.

But alas, I delve perhaps deeper than is helpful in my epistles.

I would love to hear your thoughts on such subjects as self perfection, and maybe together we'll figure out how to reach Exaltation :)

I love you all.

Stuff my mailbox,
Elder Ted E. Bear

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